Day 5 – Still swollen, lethargic and upset.
I generally try not to curse but FUCK allergies and FUCK people that don’t believe they’re real. I never lived with allergies until a few years ago, and I can honestly say I never truly appreciated being able to eat whatever I wanted.
My father and my sister have been lactose intolerant their entire lives and growing up in a house with them, I thought I knew what it felt like. I used to eat the cookie part of a chocolate cookie for my sister so she could eat the dark chocolate. I thought I understood how much it sucked, but I never really did.
I’ve been a vegetarian since 2007/2008 but transitioned to pescetarianism when I realized I had celiac disease and a dairy sensitivity. Before anyone invites me over for dinner I am forced to make a joke about how annoying I am. I have to make sure that they are willing to cook for someone as difficult as me. At my gym, where I work out daily, I have to inform people of my ‘condition’ to make sure that I’m not charged a $25 no-show fee every time I get sick.
I hate being the person who has to ask the waiter a million questions before deciding what to order. I hate having to ask if they are “sure it’s gluten free?” when they put the plate in front of me. I hate people’s questioning looks and asking if I’m “really?” gluten intolerant. As a freelancer, I need to be extra careful. If I can’t work because I’m sick, I make no money. But what I hate most of all is being home alone, much like I am now, feeling helpless and confused.
I don’t remember eating gluten last week. However, my stomach has been swollen for 5 days straight and I’m starting to feel like this is my new physical shape. When I say swollen, I don’t mean that I am a little bloated. I mean – my stomach is stretched the way only women should be stretched when they’re 9 months pregnant. I am uncomfortable, exhausted and sad. I really wish I were stronger, but I am not. Maybe you— person reading this—are, and I applaud you. But I am not.
All I can say is, please – when I request for my dinner or lunch order to be gluten free, make sure that it is.